Mean girls????

I have been thinking about Mean girls ( over 30 that should know better.) Everyone knows them and some of us have been one. When the news is talking about it non stop I thought that I would reflect a little about it.

Stop what you're doing and think. Think back to a time when you were in high school, surrounded by critical girls, cliques, and insecurity, where anything you said could be held against you and social events could flip flop between being exhilarating and excruciating, often several times in one night. 
Whispering that stops when you walk into the room. Eyes rolling when you crack a joke. Stony silence when you try to make conversation. Cruel behavior is so common among women that it has its own name: female aggression. Unfortunately, it doesn't end after high school – it can happen anywhere, from the water cooler at work to the PTA meeting. So why do grown women bully each other and what you can do about it?

What can turn perfectly sane women into catty competitors, pretending to have each others' backs while waiting to stab each other in it? Psychotherapists say,  it's easy to get sucked in when you are an adult because you go right back to the old high school girl that is still stuck inside you.. When you think of bullying, you probably picture the tough guy who beat up the chess club president in school. But women bully too. And usually it has nothing to do with physical contact. 


Though women are less inclined to yell and scream, start a fist fight or punch each other in the nose, they use subtler but equally hurtful bullying tactics. Among their favorites: backstabbing, giving the cold shoulder and being passive-aggressive.

Disagreeing publicly is one thing, but why do some take it so far? We all have baggage from high school.  Very few people say  “I felt self confident back then.' Most women had issues with other girls, that is part of who we are today. When we are stressed out and get upset, we immediately go back to default settings, acting more like the girl from high school - lashing out, retreating and less of our evolved adult self.  Women know how to push other women's buttons - plain and simple.

You might ask what a women bully is. They are devious, vindictive. Have a selective memory. Need to control. Excel at twisting the truth.  They also adore gossip. Most women don't consider gossip to be a bullying behavior, but it is, Anyone who has been the subject of a vicious rumor will certainly agree. Recently this has happened to me personally. There is nothing that cuts deeper.  It never made me feel worse, such an emotional roller coaster. I thought I was mad at first but that isn’t me. Those of you who know me well, know that this is so true. I now feel hurt. I don’t know how I will ever not look at the “mean girl” and smile or be pleasant to her.

While the 'if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all' rule seems to go out the window when it comes to the real world, I still remember my mom teaching me this & we all know the “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me?” In many cases I wish someone would just freaking punch me!  We all need to think about what you say and how you say it before leaving a forever trail to your momentary bitterness.

I am going to focus on trying to find something that gives me a bigger sense of purpose. Maybe volunteer or find an activity that I  love. What is something you would like to try that is new or something that maybe you use to do??? Maybe it's writing, playing sports or painting. Devoting time to your passions may not make the bully problem go away. But if you have an activity that truly makes your life worth living, those gossips in your yoga class will lose some of their hold over you. 

So I know that I Don't need to force my way into a group that won't accept me, yes in the past I would do anything to have been in the cool crowd. Being insecure myself a few years ago, I decided my “new” friends were better then one of the best friends I have had my entire life. This life lesson was the biggest eye opener for having such a great loss for me. It really made me grow up and take inventory of the people I had in my life. Thankfully me and my old friend worked everything out after four years.  Now it always comes to my mind that if and when I am about to share in the gossip or say something that might be taken out of context, I really don't need to say anything about it at all.

Remember you'll only set yourself up for more heartache as the “mean girls” continue to exclude you. Instead of obsessing over the women who give you the cold shoulder, or say hurtful things, try to seek out friends, colleagues and neighbors who make you feel comfortable and accepted. Maybe you need to figure out who to weed out in your life. I did this and now instead of a ton of friends I have a hand full of best friends. I am so much happier and freer now that I took the time to do this. I know that the girls in my life now are my secret keepers, my rocks, my family.
The ones I know will tell me how it is even if it would hurt to hear it. The ones I can say anything to even if its going to hurt them. I now understand that I can be myself and know that is all anyone has ever needed me to be.

I do hope that the “mean girls” out there will take a walk in someone else’s shoes a few miles. And if you do say something about someone they will find out, they will be mad, they will be upset. That words cut deeper then a knife. That sometimes when you say something in anger or to hurt someone you can’t ever take it back.

Be careful out there, mamas - and be nice.

Link Love Saturday! :)

I have to say, I love finding new things on blogs, be it crafts, places to see, things to do, stories that make me feel something different. I am always wanting to meet friends. So today I want to tell you about a few great new blogs.

So here are some links I love... Enjoy!

decor to adore

maigirlz

a soft place 

melissas heart and homecreative decorating on a budge  

 cutest-little-things. 

Trip on a tank... Manresa Castle review

 

The rich history of the Manresa Castle is what makes it a must see when you are vacationing in Port Townsend. 

The Castle was completed in 1892 as the home of Charles and Kate Eisenbeis. Mr. Eisenbeis was a prominent member of the early Port Townsend business community. His business interests were diverse including a bakery, brick works, lumber mill, brewery, bank and a hotel. In 1878, when Port Townsend became the first incorporated city in Jefferson County, its citizens elected Eisenbeis as the first mayor.

Wanting to keep a status in the community, Eisenbeis a private residence built consisting of 30 rooms. Locals referred to it as "Eisenbeis Castle." The walls are 12 inches thick, made with bricks. After Charles died in 1902  the castle was left empty for almost 20 years except for a caretaker.

In 1925, a Seattle attorney bought the Castle as a vacation place for nuns teaching in Seattle schools. This plan did not work out well and in 1927 the Jesuit priests purchased the building for use as a training college. The priests spent their sixteenth and final year of training here.

In 1928, the Jesuits added a large wing housing a chapel and sleeping rooms. They also installed the elevator (an Otis) the Jesuits stuccoed over the bricks of the original portion to give the building a more uniform look. They named the complex "Manresa Hall" after the town in Spain where Ignatius Loyola founded the order.

The Jesuits left in 1968 and the building was converted into a hotel. The elements "Manresa" and "Castle" were taken from the two previous owners to create the current name.

The three different owners since 1968 have all done their part to lovingly renovate the building to modern standards while maintaining its Victorian elegance. For example, there were only 3 bathrooms when the Jesuits left, today they have 43.

The Stories of the place being Haunted was a big plus that peaked my intrest and so I grabbed my mom and headed up to do a girls night.  We got to the hotel and the receptionist told us that our room wasn't ready so we decided to go walk around down town. We were able to do some shopping at some of our favorite shops like The Green eyeshade, Tickled Pink Gifts,  The Kitchen Cove just to name a few places we stepped into. We were able to go get some yummy dinner  my mom had the FRENCH DIP for $11 with Fresh baguette, sliced juicy rib eye, a thick wedge of brie and house made au jus. I had the  B.L.T.R.T.C. for $10.00 Baguette with thick bacon, lettuce, tomato, roasted turkey and cream cheese. We got two pieces of pie to go I got the peach and mom got the blackberry. The food was amazing!!! We will go back again and again to silverwatercafe    

After we were done with Dinner we went and saw date night at The Rose Theatre. A few hours later and we went back to the hotel. A different lady was there to help us to our room, On the elevator ride up she told us we were in the "Haunted room" That we were in the room that the Ghost "Kate" had jumped out the bedroom window to her death. She had killed herself when she was told that her husband was lost at sea. Two weeks after her death he came back to the house to see her. Sadly he came back to learn she has died.  The other ghost was a priest who had an evil spirit and decided to hang himself.  The lady told us on our way up all the scary things that have happend into the room.  Room 306 it pretty popular to stay in because of that.  We didn't notice anything at all maybe the Ghosts didn't want to be a part of my review.  

The room itself was comfortable, the decor was nice enough but nothing to write home to mom about. I would have hoped for a bath tub. A hair dryer,  The Fur babies, are not welcome at this hotel. It was a Monday night and the resturant and bar were both closed. Which was a bit of a let down. Not only that but for the price of the room for one night was a bit steep for what you get for your money.  Another pretty big let down was the breakfast. Nothing hot to eat just cold cereal and breakfast cookies from Costco.  Over all I have to say I was a pretty disappointed with the entire experience at the hotel.

So take my advise and maybe visit for a dinner or a drink in the bar, when you stay at another great place in Port Townsend..( except on Monday's then find some where else to go to eat or get a drink.) 

Happy 8th Anniversary, The day I married my best friend..

The

Once upon a time there was two babies that were born in 1977. 

Hub's was born on October 31st  

& Kingstongirl was born two months early arrived on July 6th.

Little did they know that these two would fall in love one day. 

Our first close encounter was when we got these pictures taken. Who would have thought that even then the stars were aligned. 

We would have been best friends if we would have know each other then.. Always so happy Hubs and I were growing up!

 

Then we had our second missed encounter when are two best friends dated. How this happened is beyond me.! 

Then we met, became best friends & fell in love...

Which then lead to this....................................... That brings us today our 8 year anniversary!  We have had so many great things happen, seen so many things. Are truly in love & will always be best friends....

                                                  
           Today I married my best friend

This day I married my best friend

...the one I laugh with as we share life's wonderous zest,

as we find new enjoyments and experience all that's best.

...the one I live for because the world seems brighter

as our happy times are better and our burdens feel much lighter.

...the one I love with every fiber of my soul.

We used to feel vaguely incomplete, now together we are whole.

This couldn't have been said better 

Wordless Wednesday....

                                                              Happy Anniversary!!!!

link love  

the thrifty home

commoncents home

beyond the picket fence.

shabbynest

Tempt My Tummy Tuesday

I am so Obsessed with cupcakes! Being it the anniversary week with the Hub's I decided that it would be great to do TMTT on sweet eats that are so yummy! 

 

Sweetheart Cupcakes.

• 1 (18.25 ounce) package white cake mix
• 1 1/4 cups water
• 1/3 cup vegetable oil
• 3 egg whites
• 8 drops red food coloring
• 2 drops raspberry candy oil

Directions

   1. Preheat an oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Line a standard muffin tin with paper cupcake liners.

   

    2. Beat the cake mix, water, vegetable oil, and egg whites together on low speed for 30 seconds, then on medium for 2 minutes, until smooth. Fill cupcake liners 1/3 full with white batter; set aside.

  

    3. Stir 4 drops of red food coloring into the remaining bowl of batter to make the batter pink, stir in the raspberry oil. Pour 1/3 of pink batter into a resealable plastic bag and set aside.

   

   4. Mix more food coloring into the remaining bowl of pink batter until it is an orange/red color and pour the batter into a resealable plastic bag. Cut a corner off the bag, stick the open tip into the center of each cup of white batter and squeeze in about two tablespoons of red batter.

  

   5. Cut the corner off the bag with the pink batter, stick the open tip into the center of the red batter and squeeze about 1 tablespoon pink batter into each cup.

  

   6. Bake the layered cupcakes in the preheated oven until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean, 15 to 20 minutes. Cool completely before frosting.

frosting

             Ingredients

• 1 (8 ounce) package reduced-fat cream cheese, softened
• 1/2 cup white sugar
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/2 teaspoon almond extract
• 2 cups heavy cream

Directions

1. Combine the cream cheese, sugar, vanilla extract and almond extract in a large mixing bowl or the bowl of a stand mixer. Fit the mixer with the whisk attachment and mix on medium speed until smooth. While the mixture is still whipping, slowly pour in the heavy cream. Stop and scrape the bottom of the bowl a couple of times while you continue whipping until the cream can hold a stiff peak. 

Black and White Cupcakes! 

Chocolate icing:


    * 1/4 cup whipping cream
    * 1 tablespoon light corn syrup
    * 4 ounces bittersweet (not unsweetened) or semisweet chocolate, chopped
    * 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract




White icing:


    * 1 cup powdered sugar
    * 2 tablespoons whipping cream
    * 2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice




Cupcakes:


    * 3 large eggs, room temperature
    * 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
    * 1 teaspoon grated lemon peel
    * 1 1/2 cups cake flour
    * 3/4 teaspoon baking powder
    * 1/4 teaspoon salt
    * 1 1/4 cups sugar
    * 3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
    * 1/3 cup buttermilk

Preparation

For chocolate icing:
Bring cream and corn syrup just to simmer in heavy small saucepan over medium heat. Remove from heat. Add chocolate and vanilla; whisk until melted and smooth.

For white icing:
Whisk all ingredients in small bowl to blend. Let both icings stand 1 1/2 hours at room temperature to thicken.

For cupcakes:
Preheat oven to 325°F. Line 12-cup muffin tin with paper liners. Whisk eggs, vanilla, and lemon peel in medium bowl to blend. Mix cake flour, baking powder, and salt in another medium bowl. Using electric mixer, beat sugar and butter in large bowl until well blended, stopping occasionally to scrape down sides of bowl. Gradually beat in egg mixture. Beat in dry ingredients alternately with buttermilk in 2 additions each.

Divide batter among cups. Bake until tester inserted into centers comes out clean, about 25 minutes. Cool cupcakes in pan on rack 5 minutes. Remove cupcakes from pan and cool completely.

Spread chocolate icing over half of each cupcake. Spread white icing on second half of each cupcake. Let stand until set, about 1 hour. (Can be made 1 day ahead. Store in single layer in airtight container at room temperature.)

Champagne Cupcake Ingredients:

• 2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 3 tsp. baking powder
• 1 tsp. salt
• 2/3 cup butter
• 1 1/2 cups white sugar
• 3/4 cup champagne (the sweeter the better – even strawberry would be great!!)
• 6 egg whites

Sweet Champagne Buttercream Frosting Ingredients:

• 3 1/4 cups powdered sugar
• 1 cup butter, at room temperature
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 3 tablespoons champagne, at room temperature

Method:


To Make The Cupcakes:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).  Prepare a cupcake pan with liners.  (This recipe yielded about 20 for me.)


In a large bowl, cream together butter and sugar until very light and fluffy. Sift flour, baking powder, and salt together, and then blend into creamed mixture alternately with champagne.
In another large clean bowl, beat egg whites until stiff peaks form. Fold 1/3 of the whites into batter to lighten it, then fold in remaining egg whites.  Fill the cupcake liners about 2/3 full.
Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 20 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the cake comes out clean.


To Make The Frosting:
With an electric mixer, beat together sugar and butter. Mix on low until well blended, and then on medium for another two minutes.  Add vanilla and champagne, beating on medium for another minute.
(**I had to nearly double this recipe to have enough to frost all of the cupcakes as pictured above.  If you’re doing a “flatter” frosting style, this recipe should be enough to cover all of the cupcakes!**)


cooking with amy
wisk

smitten kitchen

Meet ME Monday! :)

I got these questions once again from My little life.

1. Take your pick...date night, girls night out, or night out alone?

This is easy for me.... A date night with Hub's it is my favorite thing to do. I am looking forward to celebrating our anniversary this week. We are going to hang out in Seattle, staying at the Inn at the Market. Going to see a movie and enjoy our time together. 

2. What is your dream job? If I had to pick right at this moment it would be writing for the paper and also doing these fun reviews! ;) 

If I could pick one that I would 110% drop everything and do right now? It would be to get an RV and travel the united states all the while being camp hosts. It would be the highlight of my life and I would end up righting a book about it. 

3. What is your favorite flower and why? Oh my favorite are lilacs. They were my great grandma's favorite and every year we would put it on her grave site while we cleaned around our families plot in the Kingston cemetery.  My whole life my Grandma Aggie has grown these and given them to me on May day. She loves them because my Great Grandma her mother in law loved them. 

4. If you could go back in time, what advice would you give yourself?

Wow...I would tell myself a lot....if I were to give myself just one little tid bit of information...I would tell myself not to stress out about love, he is waiting for you and you will meet him in a few years and he will be the love of your life. Not to worry about things so much, live a lot more because one day you wont have youth and health and right now you do so live life to the fullest! 

I would tell myself that your Mom is now your best friend and will always be your best friend. That even when you fight she loves you more then you will ever know. When you are about 32 this will hit you like a ton of bricks and you will have wasted so much time being a spoiled brat. 

5. If you won the lottery, what is the very first thing you would do?

I would tell Hub's to call in dead! Pay off all of our bills!! Buy or build our dream house. Take Hub's entire family to Disneyworld and then a Disney cruise. I would take my side of the family to Hawaii.  Then Chris and I would go travel. 

Have a wonderful week. I am going to be busy celebrating our 8th year of marriage......I am a blessed and very lucky girl! 

Link love week. Why Not its love week in this house! 
Mommy's sippy cup.
Luke I am your father. ( a Seattle Dad's blog)
the mombshelter.
centsationalgirl