Celebrating the Baptism of the twins.

Two weeks ago we had a lot to celebrate. Our ten year anniversary &

most importantly the Baptism of the twins. It was beautiful and so meaningful to our entire family. The first on my bucket list of doing milestones with the twins. There will be many of them. Many I never thought that I would be able to experiecne.

Over their isolette I prayed down upon each of them. Anytime at the begining I would hear a beep or a buzz I would feel my heart drop to the bottom of my tummy.  I would reach in and hand hold one of them at a time, always longing for the time that I could hold them and  be with them at the same time. Baby B was never able to be held for very long all the way until the end of his stay. It would just be way to much for him. Baby F would just lay on me and cuddle. He still loves to cuddle. Anyway's, when I would hand hold them I would pray with everthing I had in me, my entier being and with my entire soul. 

One day when both of my boys were having a pretty hard day, a really hard day on this mama. I prayed that I would raise them in a walk and relationship with God. Now until this I hadn't been to great with my own walk with God. It had been a number of years that I had in most was turned my back and walked the other way all together. The reason now doesn't make sense but this is what I thought at the time. I was so overwhelmed with being childless and not having a baby to call my own to hold close and to love was at times to much for me to bare. I couldn't understand why I was the one that couldn't have children when people I know could pop them out like thier Vajayjay was a freaking clown car!  I was angry with God because of that, so hurt and upset that I walked away from all my beliefs. I now know that this is what he needed me to go through to come back.  The first day that they were in the NICU I went to the Chapel at the hospital from then on I was there everyday, sometimes more then once. I prayed one day so hard in that prayer I prayed this:

Heavenly father,
I pray that you will save my babies, that you will show me how to parent and be the best mommy to the two of them. I will remember every second of everyday that you are the one the blessed me with these two precious gifts that only you Lord God could so wonderfuly give to us. I promise that I will raise them up to love you and honor you Lord, I promise that they will be children of God and I will show them by the way I live my life in a way that will honor you lord. Please just save their lives. I couldn't imagine what I would do if they were taken from me now. I don't think I could make it through that great of loss. I don't think you Lord would make it possible to have these babies created from Hubs and I, carried by Chrystal. Bringing famlies closer and truly showing people the great love our family has for one another.
Please Lord allow me to raise my beautiful boys for them to be men of God. They are made to do great things. The first thing I will do when they are strong enough is to have them be celebrated as your children at their baptism. Please Lord just make them live.

In Jesus name,
Amen.

Time past and they got strong enough to start planning their baptism. It is the first thing I did. I didn't ask that God would make them perfect, I prayed he would save them. No matter what they will always be perfect to me. Having them at the NICU made me remember my walk with God. It made me the person I use to be, before I was sick, before I turned into someone I wasn't that proud of. I didn't know how different I was without God or my boys.

Pastor Coe, from Grace Luthern Church  in Port Townsend was amazing to our boys and to our family. The entire service was centered around the boys and their goals we have to all hold them up to. We were so welcomed and so loved. The entire church was so warm and inviting. One thing I didn't know at the time that was going to happen was that we would find a church to call home. We will take the boys to this chuch and celebrate milestones and moments in our lives as a family.  Hub's will have Sundays off this summer so we are going to go up as much as we can to attend our church.

The God parents were choosen for the love they have showed our boys sense even before they were born. Baby F's God parents are Bon & Chrystal. & Baby B is Erin & Allie. The only sister that was left out is Kerry and she is the best Auntie in the entire world. Turth be told my boys have the best Aunties ever. They are so blessed with the family that they were born into. All the love they have for them is amazing. This event made us all so much closer.  I can't wait to cross the next event and milestone off the baby bucket list.

Our Beautiful Family!