Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Thankful Thursday!

It's that time again and for the past few weeks I haven't done it. Thankful Thursday is a way for me to reflect on the wonderful things that I have to be thankful for. I look around me and there is one relationship that has always been so important to me, the one I have had from the very moment my life on earth began.

The relationship with my Mom. What I have with my Mom is unlike most mother and daughter have.  I was 2 1/2 months early when I was born. My mom was just a baby herself, being only 20 when she had me.  I couldn't even think what it must have been like to be married with a baby at such a young age. I am sure that she was more scared then she let on.

My mom always did what she could to make me happy, always having an open door for all of my friends. There wasn't a weekend when my house wasn't filled with kids hanging out. I know now that as an adult this really must have cost them and arm and a leg, yet she never complained.

I know that there are some  big reason why we are so close namely because of three major things. 1) My dad worked so much that 99.9% of the time it was just her and I. I remember we had a tradition to go see movies on the Holiday because we hadn't been asked to go anywhere else and we would celebrate when my Dad was on his day off.  2) The relationship that she had with my Grandpa ( her dad) was so close that she would want that bond with her own child.  He died when I was five and I really never got to know him. This crushed her and I know as an adult now that if she died it would kill me. 3) The relationship that she had with her own mother growing up and until about 15 years ago has been the total opposite of what her and I have, I think that when you have a bad relationship with your mom or dad that you do everything in your power to have a wonderful close relationship with your own child.

Growing up I hated being away from her, I would sneak out of my first grade call and wait on the steps for her to come back and get me.  I wanted to be with her no matter what, we were attached at the hip. I was her shadow.  My mom gave up everything she ever wanted to be a good mom and wife. She stayed home and  every morning before school she would make me a warm breakfast.  Even drive me to school so I wouldn't have to be on the bus for over an hour.

She has been my my cushion whenever I felt like I needed to go to someone, to vent or cry or talk about boys, there was never a subject that the two of us couldn't talk about. Thankfully that is still the case.

My day always starts with a phone call to her and I end my day when I say goodnight to her. Even on vacation or when she is away, we have to talk at least two times a day! I love it that we have girls days and can talk for hours about anything. We did have our times when we didn't get along. I know that I have broken her heart a thousand times. I don't know why all daughter's have to do this to their mom's looking back its my biggest regret. 

Sometimes I look at her hands and try to memorize what they look like and wonder if later those hand will become mine. The two of us have looked more like sisters then mother and daughter.  It use to drive me crazy that the boys I had crushes on had crushes on her. She is always in my corner no matter what the situation is. We go on girls weekend's and I have to say she is the one person I love to travel with. We laugh until our sides hurt and cry when we need to together.

I know that I don't say it nearly enough but my mom is my Sole mate...(yes you can have a sole mate that you don't have sex with!). She is so many things to me, my teacher, nurse and counselor. Over my life with her by my side she loved me with a never-failing love, gave me strength and security, and did the hardest thing of all, She let me separate from her and set me free.  I was in a big hurry to grow up bu what I wouldn't do to go back and truly enjoy every minute with my mom that I got to spend time with.  Though all my hardships with my health she never wavered but came to my side every day, even putting her and my dad's plans to snow bird in the fall to stay home with me.   I know I have gotten through all these hard times because we did it together.

My mom loves my Hub's and thinks of him as her son. Nothing makes me feel better when they are able to spend time together. Well I know that this has been a long post but I need to take the time to be thankful for having a wonderful mom, but more then that for being my best friend.