I’m sitting here trying to figure out what to write. This isn’t normally a problem. The problem is that there is so much going on in my mind. Deadlines, due dates, projects that I need to finish and start. My poor little mind is on over drive. I hope you can hang in here with me.
The big thing on my mind that is weighing hard on is the fact that I know there are so many things that are way out of my control. First being that I have a few relationships in my life that are really hard to maintain. If it was more simple I would truly walk away from both if I knew that it wouldn’t cause even more drama. Neither relationship I need, but then again if I didn't need them why am I trying to stop myself from letting go?
My life is FULL. Full of friends, love, family, people I come in contact on a daily basis that tell me that I have made a difference in some small way of their lives. That my voice is being heard. Then there are the people that are in my “real” life that take me for granted. I hate that feeling. I am a pleaser when it comes to a hand full of people. I try hard to make them like me, to except me, to love me. I can not stand when someone is mad at me or a relationship that I have had with someone suddenly changes. I am a fix it person, that is my role in life to take control and make things better. These are just some relationships that just can’t be fixed, Can they? More on this later........
Next week I am going to post about all the flaws I have and what I am going to do in 2011 to change them. I have some great ideas, where to start and what to do to become the person that I need to love as much as most other love me. To work on myself & over the next 365 days I will work on myself through tears, laughs, blowouts of emotional junk, working a little bit everyday to become that person I lost myself completely so long ago. Don’t get me wrong I am a great person to those that look at me from the outside but I do have a few cracks and I plan on fixing them this year.
I always feel like i am the girl spinning plates.
I hope you will stick by me, reading what I change, what I will keep and where this journey sends me. I might switch this to a private blog and not have it be where my
Kindle readers and people that just want to check in and read my reviews or places I have gone or things on that line... what do you think? You are my readers I write because of you and I would love to know your thoughts!
Happy New years eve, Eve!