Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Sometimes....Somebody. Thankful Thursday.

Sometimes you think about the friends and people that are in your life. My Grandma Aggie told me one time when I had lost a friendship that meant everything to me in my playground world and imaginary life of being a child , she got down to my level looked into my dark brown tear filled eyes and said " God, brings friends to you that come in your life for what you need them to be. Some will last a moment and some will last forever, but they are all for you to learn things from. With every friendship even the ones that sadly will end. You will walk away learning something from them all. I find this to be true for many of my friendships from then to now. I do think one thing is for sure, I am lucky to have my Mom she was my first friend and truly my best friend. I just wish that the girl that at times treated her mom like a punching bag for my emotional outbursts could go back in time and show the younger me just how much better it is to get along and treat her well, because she does so much for me. Always have and always will. 

I started to think about what makes somebody a friend?  How do you decide if someone is a best  friend,a good friend, an acquaintance, a friend by default, or convenience. You know those friends, a friend by default is a friend who your only really friends with because you were always hanging out with the same people. Truth be told you would never be friends outside in the real world. That you are really just friend because its the "click" you are a part of. 

When I was a young girl we lived in the very rural town of Hansville. There was one bus stop for all the kids in area because there was only a few of us that they didn't want to waste the gas. The kids that lived in Hansville were friends because no one else would drive their kids out for a play date.   I made friends at school very easy but the only friend I hung out with was my moms best friends kid. S & I were the best of friends and being that we were both only children only made sense that we would become a lot like sister, hair pulling, love hate relationships. Would we have been friends if our mom's hadn't been? I don't think so, but when I look back on my childhood I know it would have never been the same with out her in it. I still love her with all my heart. 

I made friends where ever I went. I am a still like that. I  had sleep overs, birthday parties, play dates. My parents made me do all kinds of activities swim team, singing, art classes, sewing classes. You name it they had me try it if I asked.  In the past I would have described a friend as somebody I liked to hang out with.  Someone I sat next to at the lunch table with at school.  Somebody I called and talked to whenever homework was done, that was when I was able to talk to them from 7 to 7:30 after homework and before bed time.

When I was in high school a friend was somebody I could talk to and spend my time with outside of school. Endless lazy days. My Mom has an illness that she has had for most of her life. Because of this I didn't stay at other people's house's very often. I would bring my friends to my house and she always allowed me to bring my friends to our house. Never asking questions and always making it fun. A friend at that point was somebody to pass notes to in class about my latest crush, asking did you think he looked at me in "this" way or "that" way?   Somebody that would double date at prom, that would ride in my car, that would dream with me about my future life. 

When I was in in my early twenties, a friend would be someone that I could tell things to about what was going on in my life, someone I worked with. someone I could go out dancing with and laugh about the things we saw. Someone who helped me color my hair, Someone that would fix me a drink after a bad date with a guy that clearly didn't appreciate a descent girl, All the while watching chick flicks & hanging out with my two favorite guys Ben & Jerry's.

Now Here I am in my early thirty's  and I'm just now finally starting to understand what being a true friend is really about.  Now someone that is a friend is someone that checks in on you when you don't even know that you need them to. A friend that knows there's nothing they can do to fix the situation but they want to do whatever it takes to hold you up.  Someone that wouldn't think twice to take time out from their own very busy life to give you the support that you need just to get through the day, the week, the month, the hard times that you are going through.  A friend is someone that shares their deepest darkest secrets regardless how chaotic, crazy, hilarious, or gross they are & you do the same thing knowing that it is safe.  Someone that laughs about life with you when nobody else gets it. Someone that loves you for who you are not for who you want to be. A friend in my 30's is someone that gives to you as much as they take.

A friend is someone you can go weeks without talking to because life gets crazy, but as soon as you pick up the phone or meet for a coffee that time that has gone by is like it has only been a day ago, It's like they were never really gone at all. A friend is someone that isn't afraid to tell you the truth, even if it's a painful truth. A true friend is someone they can tell you a whats for and they know you won't fly off the handle.  A friend is someone you can talk about all of life's mysteries and up's and down's, work, marriage, parenting, loss never feeling judged or embarrassed.  Someone you can talk to about your painful past that still haunts you, the present that challenges you and the future that gives you panic attacks, & anxiety. Someone that knows when to just listen, knows when to give advice, and knows when to cry along with you.  They stand up for you because in your 30's your friends become your family. You go from 100's of friends on your contact list to a handful of wonderful friends that you can put in the I.C.E. section  of your contact on your cell phone.
I'm blessed & thankful that I have a few close friends, a few that I grew up with, a few I have only known a while, and a few that are my best friends for all different reason. That they fit most of these descriptions of a true friend.  I look forward to meeting new friends. For me the new friends that I have made and grown to love are from my blogging world & Most of us have never met in person,  but I feel more bonded to these girls than most people I see in my daily life. They are friendships I can't wait to see grow. I love to blog not just to update people in my life but the ones that I have "met" online & the other social networks that have opened doors to many exciting and new thing. I know that this has been one of the greatest experiences of my life.  I'm so thankful for each and everyone of them....

A girl could never have to many shoes, handbags, or girlfriends. With this being said I think we girls in the PNW need to plan a day in a local park with our families and really get to know eachother. We all love one another from cyber space we mail Christmas card, birthday cards, emails and are forever sending the encouragement to each other that each and everyone of us 
truly need. We all impact one another's lives and its truly amazing. 

You all know who you Betty White would say......Thank you for being a friend! <3

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