Sometimes....Somebody. Thankful Thursday.

Sometimes you think about the friends and people that are in your life. My Grandma Aggie told me one time when I had lost a friendship that meant everything to me in my playground world and imaginary life of being a child , she got down to my level looked into my dark brown tear filled eyes and said " God, brings friends to you that come in your life for what you need them to be. Some will last a moment and some will last forever, but they are all for you to learn things from. With every friendship even the ones that sadly will end. You will walk away learning something from them all. I find this to be true for many of my friendships from then to now. I do think one thing is for sure, I am lucky to have my Mom she was my first friend and truly my best friend. I just wish that the girl that at times treated her mom like a punching bag for my emotional outbursts could go back in time and show the younger me just how much better it is to get along and treat her well, because she does so much for me. Always have and always will. 

I started to think about what makes somebody a friend?  How do you decide if someone is a best  friend,a good friend, an acquaintance, a friend by default, or convenience. You know those friends, a friend by default is a friend who your only really friends with because you were always hanging out with the same people. Truth be told you would never be friends outside in the real world. That you are really just friend because its the "click" you are a part of. 

When I was a young girl we lived in the very rural town of Hansville. There was one bus stop for all the kids in area because there was only a few of us that they didn't want to waste the gas. The kids that lived in Hansville were friends because no one else would drive their kids out for a play date.   I made friends at school very easy but the only friend I hung out with was my moms best friends kid. S & I were the best of friends and being that we were both only children only made sense that we would become a lot like sister, hair pulling, love hate relationships. Would we have been friends if our mom's hadn't been? I don't think so, but when I look back on my childhood I know it would have never been the same with out her in it. I still love her with all my heart. 

I made friends where ever I went. I am a still like that. I  had sleep overs, birthday parties, play dates. My parents made me do all kinds of activities swim team, singing, art classes, sewing classes. You name it they had me try it if I asked.  In the past I would have described a friend as somebody I liked to hang out with.  Someone I sat next to at the lunch table with at school.  Somebody I called and talked to whenever homework was done, that was when I was able to talk to them from 7 to 7:30 after homework and before bed time.

When I was in high school a friend was somebody I could talk to and spend my time with outside of school. Endless lazy days. My Mom has an illness that she has had for most of her life. Because of this I didn't stay at other people's house's very often. I would bring my friends to my house and she always allowed me to bring my friends to our house. Never asking questions and always making it fun. A friend at that point was somebody to pass notes to in class about my latest crush, asking did you think he looked at me in "this" way or "that" way?   Somebody that would double date at prom, that would ride in my car, that would dream with me about my future life. 

When I was in in my early twenties, a friend would be someone that I could tell things to about what was going on in my life, someone I worked with. someone I could go out dancing with and laugh about the things we saw. Someone who helped me color my hair, Someone that would fix me a drink after a bad date with a guy that clearly didn't appreciate a descent girl, All the while watching chick flicks & hanging out with my two favorite guys Ben & Jerry's.

Now Here I am in my early thirty's  and I'm just now finally starting to understand what being a true friend is really about.  Now someone that is a friend is someone that checks in on you when you don't even know that you need them to. A friend that knows there's nothing they can do to fix the situation but they want to do whatever it takes to hold you up.  Someone that wouldn't think twice to take time out from their own very busy life to give you the support that you need just to get through the day, the week, the month, the hard times that you are going through.  A friend is someone that shares their deepest darkest secrets regardless how chaotic, crazy, hilarious, or gross they are & you do the same thing knowing that it is safe.  Someone that laughs about life with you when nobody else gets it. Someone that loves you for who you are not for who you want to be. A friend in my 30's is someone that gives to you as much as they take.

A friend is someone you can go weeks without talking to because life gets crazy, but as soon as you pick up the phone or meet for a coffee that time that has gone by is like it has only been a day ago, It's like they were never really gone at all. A friend is someone that isn't afraid to tell you the truth, even if it's a painful truth. A true friend is someone they can tell you a whats for and they know you won't fly off the handle.  A friend is someone you can talk about all of life's mysteries and up's and down's, work, marriage, parenting, loss never feeling judged or embarrassed.  Someone you can talk to about your painful past that still haunts you, the present that challenges you and the future that gives you panic attacks, & anxiety. Someone that knows when to just listen, knows when to give advice, and knows when to cry along with you.  They stand up for you because in your 30's your friends become your family. You go from 100's of friends on your contact list to a handful of wonderful friends that you can put in the I.C.E. section  of your contact on your cell phone.

I'm blessed & thankful that I have a few close friends, a few that I grew up with, a few I have only known a while, and a few that are my best friends for all different reason. That they fit most of these descriptions of a true friend.  I look forward to meeting new friends. For me the new friends that I have made and grown to love are from my blogging world & Most of us have never met in person,  but I feel more bonded to these girls than most people I see in my daily life. They are friendships I can't wait to see grow. I love to blog not just to update people in my life but the ones that I have "met" online & the other social networks that have opened doors to many exciting and new thing. I know that this has been one of the greatest experiences of my life.  I'm so thankful for each and everyone of them....

A girl could never have to many shoes, handbags, or girlfriends. With this being said I think we girls in the PNW need to plan a day in a local park with our families and really get to know eachother. We all love one another from cyber space we mail Christmas card, birthday cards, emails and are forever sending the encouragement to each other that each and everyone of us 

truly need. We all impact one another's lives and its truly amazing. 

You all know who you are......as Betty White would say......Thank you for being a friend! <3

Wordless Wednesday's!

Tempt My Tummy Tuesday

BBQ CHICKEN PIZZA


The Dough

This recipe will make four individual sized 12-inch pizzas. I generally half the recipe though without incident.

1- 3/4 tsp active dry yeast
Pinch of sugar
1-1/3 cups warm water
1/4 cup olive oil, plus additional for brushing the crust
3-3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1-1/2 tsp salt

**You Can Mix the Dough By Hand:**
Stir the yeast and sugar into the water in a large mixing bowl; let stand until foamy about 5 minutes.
Stir in the oil. Mix the flour and salt and stir, 1 cup at a time, into the yeast mixture, beating well to get all of the lumps out.
Knead on a lightly floured surface until soft and satiny, but firm, about 8 minutes.

**Or You Can Choose to Mix the Dough in Your Mixer:**
Stir the yeast and sugar into the water in a mixer bowl; let stand until foamy, about 5 minutes.
Stir in the oil with the paddle.
Mix the flour and salt and add to the yeast mixture.
Mix until the dough comes together.
Change to the dough hook and knead at medium speed until soft and satiny but firm, about 3 minutes. Finish kneading briefly by hand on a lightly floured surface.

At this point place the dough into a lightly oiled bowl, cover tightly and allow it to rise for 1 hour. Then punch the dough down, cover it again. and allow it to rise a second time for approximately 30 minutes.

Next, pre-heat the oven to 500ºF. Liberally sprinkle your baking sheets with olive oil. Divide and shape the dough. Generally, we cook one pizza per pan. For BBQ Chicken Pizza layer the below toppings in the following order: BBQ sauce, cheese, chicken, red onions, and finally pepper. Bake for 10 minutes and then immediately remove the pizzas from the pans and place them on a cutting surface or board. Slice and serve.

Toppings for One Pizza:
1 cup shredded roast chicken.
2/3 cup BBQ Sauce
1-1/2 cups shredded mozzarella

(We’ve also used various blends of Parmesan, Fontina, and Gouda before.
Any or all of these cheeses make a great topping).
1/2 small red onion, thinly sliced
Freshly ground black pepper

Meet ME Monday! :)

I'm going to do this post on ten things that make me happy. I have so many things to be happy about might  as well share it! 


1. Comments/Emails/Mail/Awards from readers- seriously that is the best!  Being able to connect with people I have never met and get encouragement and feedback from them, make me feel so loved....

2. Hearing from an old friend- there is just something about talking to someone who you haven't talked to in forever...it just warms my heart and feels so good to start right off where you last left it. 


3. Mani & Pedi's ( humm I might have to go get these tomorrow.)


4. I love bubble baths. I love bubbles ,and magazines to read while in the tub, top it off with a ice cold diet coke. 


5. Decorating makes me happy. I love to pick out just the right things for the house. I really like to do it on a budget of thrift stores, yard sales, & craigslist.


7. Going on a long drives, It makes me really happy when it ends at the ocean. 


8. Traveling is truly what makes me the happiest. I love the fact that I get to see new things and explore.


9. Movies! in the theater or drive in, but when I get that red envelope in the mail is when I am as giddy as a child at a candy store. I LOVE MY movies. 


10. Watching Hub's sleep. He is so peaceful when he sleeps I love to just lay there and memories his face.

Mean girls????

I have been thinking about Mean girls ( over 30 that should know better.) Everyone knows them and some of us have been one. When the news is talking about it non stop I thought that I would reflect a little about it.

Stop what you're doing and think. Think back to a time when you were in high school, surrounded by critical girls, cliques, and insecurity, where anything you said could be held against you and social events could flip flop between being exhilarating and excruciating, often several times in one night. 
Whispering that stops when you walk into the room. Eyes rolling when you crack a joke. Stony silence when you try to make conversation. Cruel behavior is so common among women that it has its own name: female aggression. Unfortunately, it doesn't end after high school – it can happen anywhere, from the water cooler at work to the PTA meeting. So why do grown women bully each other and what you can do about it?

What can turn perfectly sane women into catty competitors, pretending to have each others' backs while waiting to stab each other in it? Psychotherapists say,  it's easy to get sucked in when you are an adult because you go right back to the old high school girl that is still stuck inside you.. When you think of bullying, you probably picture the tough guy who beat up the chess club president in school. But women bully too. And usually it has nothing to do with physical contact. 


Though women are less inclined to yell and scream, start a fist fight or punch each other in the nose, they use subtler but equally hurtful bullying tactics. Among their favorites: backstabbing, giving the cold shoulder and being passive-aggressive.

Disagreeing publicly is one thing, but why do some take it so far? We all have baggage from high school.  Very few people say  “I felt self confident back then.' Most women had issues with other girls, that is part of who we are today. When we are stressed out and get upset, we immediately go back to default settings, acting more like the girl from high school - lashing out, retreating and less of our evolved adult self.  Women know how to push other women's buttons - plain and simple.

You might ask what a women bully is. They are devious, vindictive. Have a selective memory. Need to control. Excel at twisting the truth.  They also adore gossip. Most women don't consider gossip to be a bullying behavior, but it is, Anyone who has been the subject of a vicious rumor will certainly agree. Recently this has happened to me personally. There is nothing that cuts deeper.  It never made me feel worse, such an emotional roller coaster. I thought I was mad at first but that isn’t me. Those of you who know me well, know that this is so true. I now feel hurt. I don’t know how I will ever not look at the “mean girl” and smile or be pleasant to her.

While the 'if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all' rule seems to go out the window when it comes to the real world, I still remember my mom teaching me this & we all know the “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me?” In many cases I wish someone would just freaking punch me!  We all need to think about what you say and how you say it before leaving a forever trail to your momentary bitterness.

I am going to focus on trying to find something that gives me a bigger sense of purpose. Maybe volunteer or find an activity that I  love. What is something you would like to try that is new or something that maybe you use to do??? Maybe it's writing, playing sports or painting. Devoting time to your passions may not make the bully problem go away. But if you have an activity that truly makes your life worth living, those gossips in your yoga class will lose some of their hold over you. 

So I know that I Don't need to force my way into a group that won't accept me, yes in the past I would do anything to have been in the cool crowd. Being insecure myself a few years ago, I decided my “new” friends were better then one of the best friends I have had my entire life. This life lesson was the biggest eye opener for having such a great loss for me. It really made me grow up and take inventory of the people I had in my life. Thankfully me and my old friend worked everything out after four years.  Now it always comes to my mind that if and when I am about to share in the gossip or say something that might be taken out of context, I really don't need to say anything about it at all.

Remember you'll only set yourself up for more heartache as the “mean girls” continue to exclude you. Instead of obsessing over the women who give you the cold shoulder, or say hurtful things, try to seek out friends, colleagues and neighbors who make you feel comfortable and accepted. Maybe you need to figure out who to weed out in your life. I did this and now instead of a ton of friends I have a hand full of best friends. I am so much happier and freer now that I took the time to do this. I know that the girls in my life now are my secret keepers, my rocks, my family.
The ones I know will tell me how it is even if it would hurt to hear it. The ones I can say anything to even if its going to hurt them. I now understand that I can be myself and know that is all anyone has ever needed me to be.

I do hope that the “mean girls” out there will take a walk in someone else’s shoes a few miles. And if you do say something about someone they will find out, they will be mad, they will be upset. That words cut deeper then a knife. That sometimes when you say something in anger or to hurt someone you can’t ever take it back.

Be careful out there, mamas - and be nice.

Link Love Saturday! :)

I have to say, I love finding new things on blogs, be it crafts, places to see, things to do, stories that make me feel something different. I am always wanting to meet friends. So today I want to tell you about a few great new blogs.

So here are some links I love... Enjoy!

decor to adore

maigirlz

a soft place 

melissas heart and homecreative decorating on a budge  

 cutest-little-things. 

Trip on a tank... Manresa Castle review

 

The rich history of the Manresa Castle is what makes it a must see when you are vacationing in Port Townsend. 

The Castle was completed in 1892 as the home of Charles and Kate Eisenbeis. Mr. Eisenbeis was a prominent member of the early Port Townsend business community. His business interests were diverse including a bakery, brick works, lumber mill, brewery, bank and a hotel. In 1878, when Port Townsend became the first incorporated city in Jefferson County, its citizens elected Eisenbeis as the first mayor.

Wanting to keep a status in the community, Eisenbeis a private residence built consisting of 30 rooms. Locals referred to it as "Eisenbeis Castle." The walls are 12 inches thick, made with bricks. After Charles died in 1902  the castle was left empty for almost 20 years except for a caretaker.

In 1925, a Seattle attorney bought the Castle as a vacation place for nuns teaching in Seattle schools. This plan did not work out well and in 1927 the Jesuit priests purchased the building for use as a training college. The priests spent their sixteenth and final year of training here.

In 1928, the Jesuits added a large wing housing a chapel and sleeping rooms. They also installed the elevator (an Otis) the Jesuits stuccoed over the bricks of the original portion to give the building a more uniform look. They named the complex "Manresa Hall" after the town in Spain where Ignatius Loyola founded the order.

The Jesuits left in 1968 and the building was converted into a hotel. The elements "Manresa" and "Castle" were taken from the two previous owners to create the current name.

The three different owners since 1968 have all done their part to lovingly renovate the building to modern standards while maintaining its Victorian elegance. For example, there were only 3 bathrooms when the Jesuits left, today they have 43.

The Stories of the place being Haunted was a big plus that peaked my intrest and so I grabbed my mom and headed up to do a girls night.  We got to the hotel and the receptionist told us that our room wasn't ready so we decided to go walk around down town. We were able to do some shopping at some of our favorite shops like The Green eyeshade, Tickled Pink Gifts,  The Kitchen Cove just to name a few places we stepped into. We were able to go get some yummy dinner  my mom had the FRENCH DIP for $11 with Fresh baguette, sliced juicy rib eye, a thick wedge of brie and house made au jus. I had the  B.L.T.R.T.C. for $10.00 Baguette with thick bacon, lettuce, tomato, roasted turkey and cream cheese. We got two pieces of pie to go I got the peach and mom got the blackberry. The food was amazing!!! We will go back again and again to silverwatercafe    

After we were done with Dinner we went and saw date night at The Rose Theatre. A few hours later and we went back to the hotel. A different lady was there to help us to our room, On the elevator ride up she told us we were in the "Haunted room" That we were in the room that the Ghost "Kate" had jumped out the bedroom window to her death. She had killed herself when she was told that her husband was lost at sea. Two weeks after her death he came back to the house to see her. Sadly he came back to learn she has died.  The other ghost was a priest who had an evil spirit and decided to hang himself.  The lady told us on our way up all the scary things that have happend into the room.  Room 306 it pretty popular to stay in because of that.  We didn't notice anything at all maybe the Ghosts didn't want to be a part of my review.  

The room itself was comfortable, the decor was nice enough but nothing to write home to mom about. I would have hoped for a bath tub. A hair dryer,  The Fur babies, are not welcome at this hotel. It was a Monday night and the resturant and bar were both closed. Which was a bit of a let down. Not only that but for the price of the room for one night was a bit steep for what you get for your money.  Another pretty big let down was the breakfast. Nothing hot to eat just cold cereal and breakfast cookies from Costco.  Over all I have to say I was a pretty disappointed with the entire experience at the hotel.

So take my advise and maybe visit for a dinner or a drink in the bar, when you stay at another great place in Port Townsend..( except on Monday's then find some where else to go to eat or get a drink.)